I am a dork and I am utterly offended.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

A while ago I wrote this here article about the abhorrent concept of "geek chic. I mentioned club nights that until now I haven't had the misfortune to come across. Now i'm disappointed in the newest club in Lincoln... Tokyo. I love the place. Though I mostly frequent Sugarcubes, everybody's favourite rock dive, I have been going to Tokyo more and more.

I saw this on their Facebook page.

"GEEK GLASSES will be available on entry to get y'all in the mood!!"

"Geek glasses"... now how exactly are geek glasses any different to any other glasses? And "in the mood"? The mood for what exactly? I am, of course, expecting the "geek chic" theme to continue throughout the night. Tokyo's team have developed a new technology that without the Geek Glasses™ makes everything blurry*. As we all know very very well bad eyesight = intelligence. Entry will be £3.14 but free if you solve a variety of mathematical problems, £1 off if you fix the doorman's computer and £2 off if you submit a short essay detailing the research you went through to decide on Tokyo above the other clubs in Lincoln.

Now which genre of "geek" are we looking at? Will there be books to read around the club? Will each room have a different console? Will the drinks be served in receptacles from scientific experiments? I like to think the staff will be dressed as various film and game characters. I think Leeloo, Ezio and Mario should be doormen. Doormen have moustaches, right?

Are we counting down the days until "hipster night" or  "emo night"? Is it a new trend that club nights alienate certain groups in society? What music would you even associate with "geeks"? I'm not entirely ungeeky and in my circle of "geeky" friends there is certainly no trend in music taste. And anyway... are real "geeks" wouldn't be there anyway, surely? I love Monday nights at Tokyo but there's no chance I'll be there on that night.

It'll be full of slutty schoolgirls and too many fake glasses. It just sounds horrible and ungainly.

Dick move, Tokyo. I love your faces, but dick move.

*A source from Tokyo Lincoln denies a connection between this new technology and alcohol.