It's fiction remember... fiction.

Sometimes I hate television writers. I like to think I am a relatively sane human being but too many times have I been brought to tears because of the lives of fictional characters. In the same way, if I watch an episode of Green Wing or Black Books, I'm instantly cheered up.

Part of me cried because of the plot of the last episode (OH THE PLOT! THE PLOT!), part of me cried simply because now I have to wait until September 19th to find out if one of the characters is alive or dead. This is fan torture! You bring us into the stories of these shows, we are hooked then in the last episode there's big reveals, shootings and declarations of love and suddenly we're left hanging.

This doesn't happen with films, you don't experience the "lives" of the characters in films like you do in an ongoing series. Books are the same. You get to know a character in a way that you can't in just two hours.

And this is what comes of my lack of human contact (apart from at work) at the moment. I watch a lot of television, eat too many crisps and cry into my duvet when someone fictional gets shot. Oh what summer fun I am having.

“The electric things have their life too.”

Today I discovered this website. The sculptures are absolutely beautiful. All I can think of is how it reminds me of Philip K. Dick's novel, Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? Now I love Bladerunner, which is based on Dick's novel, but it doesn't really live up to the book for me. I've call for a proper film or series of the book but sod's law says it'll be appalling.

by Jamie Salmon, sculptor.

Sigh.

I can dream of a good adaption, can't I? The other day I dreamt about Socialists with superpowers. I can dream it, but that doesn't mean I want it to come true.

Review: The Adjustment Bureau

From the film's official website:

Do we control our destiny, or do unseen forces manipulate us? Matt Damon stars in the thriller The Adjustment Bureau as a man who glimpses the future Fate has planned for him and realizes he wants something else. To get it, he must pursue the only woman he's ever loved across, under and through the streets of modern-day New York.

David (Matt Damon) and Elise (Emily Blunt) look at the notebook that chronicles their fate.

WARNING: Possible spoilers...

Want-to-see film of the week: The Adjustment Bureau

With a seemingly dull title I wasn't particularly grabbed by The Adjustment Bureau until I actually watched the full trailer and read about it in Empire. How often do I need to tell myself "Don't judge a book by it's cover"?

As it didn't hook me straight away I failed to notice it had several aspects that I enjoy in a film...

• A Philip K. Dick inspired storyline.
• A secret organisation that is controlling humanity.
• Trilbies and suits aplenty.
• Matt Damon and his face.

With a storyline that Empire calls "Inception for romantics" this sounds like just my cup of tea.

Hopefully off to see it on Wednesday and I'll give you a full review then.

Not enough swashbuckling for my liking...

According to National Geographic this mess of metal was once a sword guard, possibly under the ownership of the infamous Blackbeard. Yaargh argh argh and all that jazz.

Oooooh... archeological.

Ship wreaks, now they're exciting. Probably not for the archeologist who's cleaning artifacts like this one with a toothbrush. But for though of us who like to swish invisible swords, watch our coats billow and long for a trained (and therefore not inclined to poop on you) parrot on our shoulders all the pirates we have are either fictional or uncool somali pirates who, with their violence and kidnapping, aren't really partaking in the swashbuckling traditional. How unfun of them!

The closest we get to a swashbuckling lovable rogue is David Guetta when he starting hoisting girls over his shoulder in that Black Eyed Peas video.

Dancefloor sea shanty, anyone?

This (decidedly obtuse) thought reminded me of my excitement for Pirate of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Even though the franchise slightly fizzled out during the later two films (one might say it "did a Matrix") I still remember throughly enjoying Johnny Depp corsets the swashbuckling goodness. Sword fights, hats, big dresses, ships, the occasional beach and/or semi-naked man, all in one film? Oh yes please.

It seems quite a while since I was last enjoying a good ol' pirate romp and I rather can't wait for it this time. Yes, I love my quality films but big budget, cheesy adventures are always just too much fun to miss out on.

Richard Castle is a Browncoat... and so am I.

Ah, wonderful Nathan Fillion, so charming and dashing that you'd think he was British.

Generally someone becomes on of my favourite actors or actresses when they're in more than one of my favourite shows or films. Nathan Fillion managed this spectacularly. With Firefly and my most recently discovered addiction, ABC's Castle. Firefly is without doubt my favourite ever television show. About the crew of a Firefly class spaceship, set 500 years in the future. Now I love my sci-fi and with Firefly's added swashbuckling, Western vibe it's just a complete winner. How it got cancelled by bastard Fox when it had gained such a loyal and huge fanbase (Browncoats forever) after only 14 episodes is just beyond me. It could have been a cult classic. And to be fair, it still kinda has been.

And my favourite bit of it? The characters. Notably Captain Malcolm Reynolds. Dashing, charming, mysteriously and god-damn swashbuckling. *sigh* And he looks good with a gun. Fillion's performance is brilliant. He manages to create a brilliant and believable hero who remains mostly a mystery through the entire series.

And also this...

Then there's Richard Castle. Cocky, metrosexual, grammar-nazi and adorable father. I discovered the show not long ago and I adore it. I love US crime dramas as it is, they're my guilty pleasure. Castle is a little different though. Ric Castle is a best-selling author who, thanks to his connections, is shadowing (gorgeous) NYPD detective, Kate Beckett.

I just love this show. It's so genuinely entertaining. It's cute, funny, has brilliant storylines and has just the right amount of clichéd goodness. And brilliantly every now and then a little Firefly reference slips in. I say little.... one episode Fillion bounded onto screen in a full Mal Reynolds costume claiming to be a space cowboy. I love this show.

Castle as Mal

I suppose I'll stop blathering on about my love for Nathan Fillion now and I intend to continue my Firefly marathon.

Anthony Horowitz, my hero.

“A commercial break! Quick! Kill someone!”

Anthony Horowitz, the creator of Midsomer Murders, Foyle’s War, Alex Rider and most importantly a scene in which two people have sex in a ball pit in (my personal favourite of his books) The Killing Joke. This evening I attended a talk by him (about his work and general awesomeness) at the Lincoln Drill Hall and somewhat drove my friends mad with my fangirlish nonsense. (Though all “nonsense” aside I would happy marry that handsome devil and his smooth tones and wonderful authorish skills.)

He started out talking about good old Alex Rider, the 14 year old spy who got him where he is now. Horowitz told us how he partially owes the success of the children’s series to J K Rowling. Without the Harry Potter franchise publishers would have never realised how popular children’s books could be.

In a Lincoln exclusive (that somewhat made my belly fizz) Horowitz read out the first page of the next and final book in the Alex Rider series. We follow the head of criminal organisation SCORPIA through the British Museum on his way to meet “the third richest man in the world”. Horowitz also told us how an old enemy was set to return. Now personally I was hoping that my darling wonderful (fictional) Russian assassin Yassen Gregorovich would miraculously return from the dead after being shot at the end of the fourth book. But a) Horowitz has now promised a sort of prequel in which we see Yassen at Alex’s age and b) the series isn’t suited to random resurrecting a beloved character. I intend to re-read the entire series over the summer in order to dejuce the mysterious returning foe. Because I’m just that much of a dork. smiles proudly

Good old (yet still remarkably dashing) Anthony went on to talk about his work in television, notably Foyle’s War and Collision. Now I’ve never seen either of these as I’m cough cough allergic to ITV though I may contemplate purchasing the DVDs. Horowitz’s take on the murder mystery genre and the curse of commercial breaks was somewhat amusing (if it wasn’t obvious please see the title of this post).

In the end this talk filled me not only with fangirlish glee but also with a few nifty facts about my favourte author. But mainly fangirlish glee… and a signed copy of my favourite Horowitz which is now my most prized possession.

Thank you Mr Horowitz, for such a delightful evening.