I am a dork and I am utterly offended.

A while ago I wrote this here article about the abhorrent concept of "geek chic. I mentioned club nights that until now I haven't had the misfortune to come across. Now i'm disappointed in the newest club in Lincoln... Tokyo. I love the place. Though I mostly frequent Sugarcubes, everybody's favourite rock dive, I have been going to Tokyo more and more.

I saw this on their Facebook page.

"GEEK GLASSES will be available on entry to get y'all in the mood!!"

"Geek glasses"... now how exactly are geek glasses any different to any other glasses? And "in the mood"? The mood for what exactly? I am, of course, expecting the "geek chic" theme to continue throughout the night. Tokyo's team have developed a new technology that without the Geek Glasses™ makes everything blurry*. As we all know very very well bad eyesight = intelligence. Entry will be £3.14 but free if you solve a variety of mathematical problems, £1 off if you fix the doorman's computer and £2 off if you submit a short essay detailing the research you went through to decide on Tokyo above the other clubs in Lincoln.

Now which genre of "geek" are we looking at? Will there be books to read around the club? Will each room have a different console? Will the drinks be served in receptacles from scientific experiments? I like to think the staff will be dressed as various film and game characters. I think Leeloo, Ezio and Mario should be doormen. Doormen have moustaches, right?

Are we counting down the days until "hipster night" or  "emo night"? Is it a new trend that club nights alienate certain groups in society? What music would you even associate with "geeks"? I'm not entirely ungeeky and in my circle of "geeky" friends there is certainly no trend in music taste. And anyway... are real "geeks" wouldn't be there anyway, surely? I love Monday nights at Tokyo but there's no chance I'll be there on that night.

It'll be full of slutty schoolgirls and too many fake glasses. It just sounds horrible and ungainly.

Dick move, Tokyo. I love your faces, but dick move.

*A source from Tokyo Lincoln denies a connection between this new technology and alcohol.

I asked you to dance at the disco but you said no. Why did you do that, you heartless bitch?

If I were to time travel, after the inevitable sightseeing (Renaissance France, sightseeing from an airship, quick hello to Shakey etcetera) I would return to early 2000, kidnap Charlie Simpson, preventing him from ruining joining Busted and therefore putting Tom Fletcher in his place. Then everything would be well in the world. Busted would still be together, Matt Willis would have never been on I'm a celebrity, get me out of here and McFly would have never existed. Perfection!

Yes, if you hadn't noticed, I was listening to Busted earlier. Oh teenage nostalgia.

I do love that no matter how long it's been since I've last listening to Busted, I still adore them and I still know every lyric. AND THE SONG WAS CALLED CRASH AND BURN NOT YOU SAID NO!! Why did they break up?! Bloody Charlie I'm-in-a-crap-band-called-Fightstar Simpson. *ahem* I think I have some unresolved issues with Busted. Oh well.

I rather miss these boys. Not Charlie though. Bushy eyebrowed gitface.

However, during some casual Googling just I discovered this article. New Busted material?! Though with them being 27 I'm not sure they can cope with the boy/man band switcheroo. Also, when I read the words "it's quite 80s, quite synth-based" I worry. I am worried. But excited. Any excuse for me to see those lovely boys again.

Oh the early 2000s. *sigh*

Killing (Simon Cowell) in the name of... (rock music)

And now you do what they Simon Cowell told ya!
And now you do what they Simon Cowell told ya!
And now you do what they Simon Cowell told ya!
…
FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU SIMON COWELL TELLS ME!!

Right, I want to talk about (the complete awesomeness) that is the Rage Against The Machine for Christmas No. 1 campaign. *waves placard* Simon Cowell is getting buggered daily nightly and every so rightly, is he not? And no, we don’t intend to use lube.