At least Professor X would know to arrive early for his train

Is it just me or is this a little bit off? Currently at Lincoln train station they're performing some kind of maintenance work on the lifts. Which I discovered, when to my delight, I had to heave my heavy suitcase across the platform bridge. Now, I am not hugely bothered by this but my first thought (after "oh effort!") was 'How's a wheelchair meant to cross?'.

BOXED IN: Works going on at Lincoln Train Station.

I asked one of the men who stand around in high visibility jackets... because that means they're important (or something). And apparently if there's someone who needs disabled access to the far platforms then they need to re-platform the train. I see several problems with this. As there's no way of telling people before they arrive then I doubt they're going to miraculously think "ooh, maybe i'll arrive extra early today. And, as far as I know, I think it's possible for people in wheelchairs to be late too. I mean, I'm not sure, but someone, somewhere, in a wheelchair may have been late for something at sometime.

Anyway, in this situation the concept of "late" can be subjective. For example, the train I catch from Lincoln to go back to the West Midlands is always at the platform about half an hour before it is due to leave. Let's say someone in a wheelchair arrives for their train 10 minutes beforehand. This is perfectly acceptable. Will they take the train out of the station and bring it back in to platform 2 or 3 (the only ones when you don't need to cross the track) and can't they even do that what with other trains coming and going.

This re-platforming plan only works if the passenger arrives before the train. Lincoln is the end of the line for many trains, the only really notable places Grimsby and Skegness further east... they're not exactly the Paris or New York* of Lincolnshire. If they arrive even slightly late or perfectly on time, when their train is already there, then what's the answer? Can they just not travel?

There's definitely something not right about this whole situation. It seems like they've looked at the problem and thought "eh, we'll play it by ear".

*I'd go close to saying Newark was the New York of Lincolnshire because for some reason the similar sounding nature of them makes me giggle.

Oh how fantastically awfully I am...

I'm genuinely ashamed of my lack of writing this summer. I find that moving house (which i'm half way through doing), working (which I'm on holiday from at the moment) and drinking/reading/lounging about on a beach (which is the reason why I currently look like a pasty patchy lobster) don't fit together as a good enough excuse.

Other than drinking and moving I have little motivation for anything that really matters... losing weight, not being poor, writing etc. In fact, gimme two more months of this I'll be fat, broke and illiterate and that will just not do.

In spite of all of this anti-productivity I have managed to do some mildly course-relevant work, designing posters and such for my Aunt's play in October. I've also delightfully misused Quark Xpress to make a drinking game. I really need to actually get work experience so that I'm making layouts that aren't spoof birthday presents or card games. This is my one talent and the last two layouts I've created involved fake stories (Jamie and Hazel's diamond heist) for birthday presents. It's a shame that I can't help but create phoney layouts in a tabloid style. It looks more cutesy than professional. Damn my need of experience to get experience. I don't like that I know I'm good at layouts but have no substantial way of showing this.

Now that I've rambled incoherently, I'm gonna to pootle off and thing of things to write about that aren't simply "I can't think of things to write about".

A handbaaaaaaaag?!

I don't understand fashion. Fashion, trends, whatever you wish to call it. It completely and utterly baffles me. Why is the female oriented media drenched in images of clothes, handbags and makeup? Do we care about nothing else? I'd like a magazine that talks about books, television, films, theatre, tattoos, piercings... These aren't just confined to alternative sub cultures, you know! I'd like articles about social media, technology, even bloody interior design. I'd like health stuff that isn't focused on articles that are a menagerie of "LOOSE WEIGHT YOU FAT SOD OR NO-ONE WILL LOVE YOU", "HOW TO GET THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS", "WHY YOU DON'T NEED MEN" and "OMG LOOK AT WHAT THIS CELEBRITY DID AND THIS IS WHY IT SHOULD MATTER TO YOU/IT SHOULD OFFEND YOU/YOU SHOULD BE DISGUSTED BY THIS". EXCUSE... ahem, I mean excuse the caps but I feel most idiocy is best expressed in capslock. Ridicule and all that lark.

But that's magazines. Fashion confusion hits me from many different media. It's not just magazines but what people are actually willing to wear that infuriates me. At the moment the fashion seems to be a lot of horribly fake vintage clothing and a lot of beige. Why beige? And why chinos and slacks? On women!

Most annoyingly I keep seeing groups of young girls, teenagers, all wearing these odd identical outfits. The other week I saw three girls all wearing the same kind of nasty high-waisted, arse-showing denim shorts with the same style of floaty vintage-esque blouse. And it's not vintage jewellery if it's made out of gold painted plastic! It's not vintage if you got it from New Look, Next, Dorothy Perkins or fucking Primark. I have a vintage dress, it is actually vintage and I bought it from a vintage shop in Birmingham long before this current "craze". I'm not sure whether I want to wear it now. Or is actively not wearing something "fashionable" as bad as actually wearing it?

I understand why fashion happens. Otherwise people would have to have their own thoughts and where would we be with that!?

What I don't understand is why people pursue it endlessly even though in all likelihood they'll end up wearing the same as everyone else. Obviously I don't expect everyone to have their own individual style but I don't understand the obsession with needing to wear the same style as you're friends, celebrities and them-people-what-are-on-the-telly-box. And it seems that so many people wear whatever is in fashion regardless of whether it suits them or not.

There are two main fashion phenomena that I don't understand.

1. Playsuits. A hideous creation I have discovered since working in the warehouse of a fashion outlet. Why why why would you want to wear a garment associated with onesies and overalls that makes you look like you're wearing a table cloth in some kind of disgusting printed material you'd find upholstering your Grandma's dining room chairs? They are unflattering, hideous and if you bend over and I can see your pants then they're too damn short... I'm talking to you woman I saw on the street the other day.
2. Leggings as trousers. LEGGINGS ARE NOT TROUSERS. They are not designed as trousers, they are too thin to be trousers and they're a close relative of tights. I do not want to see that much of your arse, missus. We don't live in the land of photoshop so when struck with a legging-ed arse all I see is either a boney one or one that would need to book multiple seats on an airplane. And I never, ever, have any desire to see the outline of anyone's pants. Tops should go with skirts, shorts or trousers. "Dresses" should certainly cover arse and crotch. Arse and crotch, remember that Ladies. Relevant. Also Relevant.

I'm gonna end on a point about brands. Handbags seem the worst... extortionate prices for a label. What's so special about a £100 hangbag that has a little word on it as opposed to a £20 that doesn't? Shoes are also a big one, though with my love of Vans, Etnies and Converse, I am also guilty of this. However, I also buy shoes like this because, damn and blast it, they are comfortable. You wouldn't catch me dead in a pair of Jimmy Choos*.

Now, there's clearly a difference between Primark clothes and FatFace clothes. FatFace clothes will last you an eternity and cost you an arm and a leg whereas Primark will cost you pittance but last you an evening. For all those crappy t-shirts you bought in Primark you could have bought a similar one that would last. That's where brands are good, you get the quality but there's got to be a limit on when it goes from will-weather-the-storm to will-show-everyone-what-you-can-afford-and-still-falls-apart. I'm looking at you, Macbook.

Alas. Maybe I will never understand. Maybe I'll become one of them. Or maybe the next time I see someone in jeggings I'll punch them in the face.


*I had to Google that to learn the spelling. I'm not sure what that says about me.

A/N: If you understand the reference in the title, you get points.

OHNOES I HAVEN'T REVISED FOR MY EXAM TOMORROW!

Oh wait... we're not meant to?!

Experimental silliness as always from the School of Journalism and we've been given a strange new exam format for our one lonely exam this year. It requires no revision more than a good read of the pre-release as it's focused on our knowledge, research and critique of two news stories in the papers on the day of the exam.

I think I like the idea however I can see myself cursing it tomorrow in the 6ish hour sprint to the finish. Yes we don't have any revision but we still need to cram in a lot of prep and research into one day.

However after this hour and a half of scribbling myself and my writing knob on my middle finger will be free to enjoy the Summer. It's mid-May and I'll be finished! Cue assorted dancing gifs...

Yeah... I do GIFs now.

Less than 24 hours until second year is over. Good lord.

Redtops and jesus socks

I'm currently writing an essay critiquing health and crime reporting and this ended up in my trawling tabloid websites for examples of irresponsible journalism.

It was highly useful when the Express whacked me
in the face with this frankly ridiculous headline.

However I've now had to take a break from my essay and get back to packing for my Easter week at home (hurrah for my little village being away from all this awful killer smog) because it was chipping away slowly but steadily at my belief that there's good and intelligent life in the world. Urgh.

The other day I happened to bump into an old "friend" from high school who asked me how I was getting on. After replying with "busy, journalism degree, lincoln, blah blah blah small talk" her friend said something that saddened and irritated me.

"When you finish your course do you want to work for The Sun?*"

Not, "a newspaper" but specifically The Sun. Yes, I get that people enjoy that redtop trash but it's not really something to aspire to, is it? I guess people must want to write for the redtops but surely people can see that the quality press is refered to as the quality press for a reason. The writing quality is better, everything is better.

There's a chance that I'm being a bit... er... "socially mobile" here but really. If I get stuck reporting on "celebrities" and socks with heavenly aspirations then my career has gone down entirely the wrong path.

*She seemed the type that if she'd have written it down she'd have used the wrong "your".

Retro vs. Modern Gaming: Arch enemies or father and son?

So you’ve just bought yourself a shiny new PlayStation 3. It’s stood proudly on your desk boasting high definition graphics, motion gaming and some of the best titles on the market. Your old PS2 is discarded on the floor amidst a flurry of cables awaiting its fate. Will you trade it in and grab yourself a few second hand games for your latest toy or will it be destined to gather dust in the loft with the Sega Megadrive and an army of old teddy bears? Is it worth keeping your old consoles or does newer instantly mean better? If that’s true, then why do people keep going back to retro games?

A/N: This article was originally destined for Bullet magazine but as apparently the entertainment editor has no say here it is for your reading pleasure.

Classic games are now being rebooted for the modern market. Characters such as Mario and Pikachu, who first appeared on Nintendo 64s and Gameboys are now enjoying their time on the latest consoles. Now 25 years old, Mario is actually older than most of his target audience. Solid Snake, famous in the Metal Gear Solid series originally hit the mass market on the NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) but since then he’s been seen on each generation of the Sony PlayStation. Are games developers giving the people what they want, introducing a younger audience to the classics or are they simply running out of ideas? I think it's the former... Only this morning I got out my Gameboy colour after I had the urge to go out and catch a few Pokemon. Pokemon SoulSilver and HeartGold are the latest incarnation of the Pokemon series and they're as popular as their predecessors.

Mmmmm academia...

For the first time I had a discussion today about what to do after university without feeling utterly terrified. All other discussions have ended up with my inner self whimpering and mumbling about debt and jobs and my outer self is focusing intently on the ceiling or a nearby squirrel.

A few days ago I was first tempted by the possibility of doing an MA. Myself and Kirsty had a mooch around the possibly MAs at Lincoln, Nottingham and Nottingham Trent. Looking through the courses it became clear that a lot of the journalism MAs (I was looking at print and magazine ones) crossed over with my BA. However when I came across the creative writing course I was intrigued. This is perhaps an option I could look into. I was thinking part-time MA with part-time work.

It's nice not to be terrified about AFTER UNI for once.

How to hide mediocrity behind a veil of pretty colours and vanity.

No matter how many different colours they projectile vomit onto a page Bullet is still nothing more than an SU toy with a budget it doesn't deserve. Well done, you have glossy pages but you seem ignorant of your audience and you treat your staff like idiots. Three members of staff have left in the last few weeks, it's like rats fleeing a sinking ship.

If you shove enough colours on it everyone will love it.

This month's copy was the last straw for my good friend Crystal. As entertainment editor you would think she would have a little creative control. However out of the 4 pages (one double page feature, 1 single page article, and 2 shorter articles) what ended up in the print edition (not to the knowledge of the so called entertainment editor) was the single page article and one of the half page articles with a page each then an article written by the editor about some microsoft software that came out months ago.

The article claimed to be about software that helped students but it only mentioned microsoft's windows live mesh and so just looked like a pr piece. If the article had been well researched she would have talked about Dropbox, the new Facebook groups feature, Google docs, and the fact that students can get cheap software. That's what that feature should have been.

I find it strange that with the SU promoting democracy so much it's publication is such a dictatorship. One editor asks everyone else to do the leg work then ignores it all and does what she wants.

This edition has just been the last straw. The contents quite good, Jamie's got a couple of good articles, and I can personally vouch for the two articles by Joe and James. But there's yet another article about clothes sizes/body image, do all Lincoln students think they're too fat and constantly think about clothes? And the photos are ridiculous. Almost all images in the issue are pixelated and dreadful. The front cover is badly photoshopped and makes no sense. Not only that but the subbing is frankly lazy, instead of subbing properly they've just deleted spaces after punctuation.

I know it's such a tiny thing by they've done it many times in the issue. It just not professional. The whole thing looks like it's just been cobbled together at the last minute. If you're going to do something, do it right. This is not a publication I could be proud of, I'd never publish something I didn't think was perfect. Not even as an assignment.

Oh this silly magazine enrages me. Silly silliness.

2011 fun activities for waking hours

This morning I woke up with something of a hangover but then I saw two good things. Firstly, a glass of water placed beside my bed by my kind drunken self and then I moved it and discovered this. My hungover self giggled.

Ice Bear likes tape.

I'm not sure I have achieved much so far this year. 2011 for me has so far involved some light housework followed by and afternoon sat in bed watching some good old US crime drama. I feel I did actually achieve some things last year however. I upped my game with my uni work, I got myself a nice cushy job (not that I'd say no to one with more hours), I even found a gorgeous house for next year and most importantly I snagged myself a wonderful boyfriend. The latter made 2010 amazing. And the former three helped a teeny bit too.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more. 2011 is waiting for us and I'm gonna start it with an evening in the pub. Start as we mean to go on, I say. 2011 shall be a year of friends, pubs and some goddamn journalism.

And my new year's resolution? 920 x 1080


Eh, who am I kidding? I wouldn't keep it anyway.

"I could pull better copy out of my arsehole."

Since doing my online assignment I've become used to scrutinizing people's work. This also goes for times when I've proofread a friend's work. My own work as well, though i'm not the best at editing my own writing unless I leave it a few days and forget about it.

Though I haven't been one of the main editors for our group project, I've been dragged across to look at a paragraph from time to time and I'm rather getting into this editorial lark. It's clear when and article is unedited, there's a typo or two, maybe a spelling mistake, a couple of sentences that don't quite work. This is why we have editors. If you want your publication or website to look professional you need good editors. You can't just shove the article online and hope no-one will notice. Especially if the article is so dreadfully written that no amount of editing could have saved it.

Hmm. I suppose it just enrages me. I take pride in my writing but I don't expect it to be perfect every time. That's why I edit, edit, edit.

Damn those "lazy" protesters!

Lazy, binge-drinking students should be working, not protesting

Hilarious headline from the Halifax Evening Courier that I found during some casual Googling. Quality local journalism they've got there in Halifax. This man is incredibly stupid. He blames the current economic climate on the fact that the people to blame (business men, politicians, yadda yadda yadda) used to be students.

According to Mr David Regan the current protests shows "the poor standards of some of the students attending universities today." I'm sorry, what?!

Mr Regan also asked some very (air quotes) "important" questions:

• "Does Britain need all these universities?" David can't be doing with these new-fangled university things!
• "Do we need all these students?" Nah, uneducated morons like you are all we need
• "Are the right type of courses being provided?" I'm just gonna go with "yes". Maybe you should try one.
• "Are too many foreign students being taught in Britain?" This is clearly relevant to the point you're making. Gotta love some casual racism in local news.
• "If students are concerned about their money for education and all their other costs, who paid for trips to London etc to demonstrate?" It doesn't cost and extra £6000 to get to London, my dear chum.

A final warning to those students out there not wanting to offend Mr Regan. Please do not appear to be "dressed inappropriately for supposedly educated people". He gets awfully annoyed at this.

Urgh. there are some frightfully stupid people in the world.

Read the full article here if you can stand it.

Photos from the London Demo

Click to go to my Flickr

My Millbank Experience (UPDATED)

I've now been up for 13 hours. 13 hours of coaches, fast food and one hell of a protest.
A/N: By the time I got home to edit this it was 17 hours and counting. Disorientated doesn't even cover it. I'm not good at this not-getting-sleep malarky.

52,000 people attended the protest in Westminster but the rioting that was all over the news was a tiny minority of people. Don't get me started on how many of those were actually students. Probably about 1000 people were assaulting Millbank Tower. And how do I know? I was bloody well there. Right in the middle of it. Purely as a journalist of course.

When I heard about the riot at Millbank the journo in my heart only wanted to be in one place. I headed straight to the building.

The rioting itself was in the centre of the courtyard, the outer area of the courtyard and the road was populated with non-violent protesters.

With a lot of ducking and diving I managed to make my way near the front, around 2 metres from the entrance. Next to the entrance was a huge glass door/window thing that was completely destroyed by the rioters. They got into the lobby and caused huge amounts of damage. It didn't take long after the entrance was breached for a few renegades to make their way to the roof of the building. The chaos continued on the ground floor though. A bonfire burned away in the middle of the courtyard and police were swarming through the crowds to reach the violence.

It was so exhilarating to be right in the centre of such a massive news story as a journalist. I got brilliant footage an images and saw things I'd only ever seen on the news before.

Now I'm back home (finally) I've had chance to watch the news. Some of the pictures are incredible. I find it strange that the crowd was so chaotic that though I was in the middle of it all I didn't see any of it. I just heard it. The sound of that glass breaking really chilled me to the bone. But more importantly than any of that I want to know... did it make a difference? Or did a few bad apples ruin the whole barrel. I think the news coverage kinda tells that story.

Dang nabbit, imma gonna get ma protestin' boots on!

Do I like having to pay student fees? Of course I don't. Especially on a day where one tutor rambled is way into a corner prompting me to tell him that "the EDL aren't a rock band" and another demonstrated such a complete smorgasbord of incompetence that I wanted to cry and bang my head repeatedly against my desk. And don't get me started on the god-awful computers in the newsroom that froze every time I had the temerity to click on something.

I didn't feel like I was getting my value for money today. But at the same time, surely the logic goes that if I'm suddenly paying triple the price for my degree then maybe I'll get better tutors, better computers and better sandwiches in the Atrium. Maybe if I was paying £9,000 a year for my degree my only issue with the facilities would be if I accidently orgasmed at the sight of a whole newsroom full of fast, magnificate and most importantly competent(!) Macs?

So why am I getting up at 5am tomorrow morning to wave a placard at some Tories? To report on it? Partially, I am a journalist afterall. To have a free day down in London? No, I have more morals than that. In order to skive off work? 5am, my dears, 5am is no laughing matter.

No. I'm going because of the principle. I know this protest won't do anything for our cause. I know enough about politics and economics to know that it's stupid to think the country can afford to keep spending this. It's a necessary evil. Necessary, yes.... and CERTAINLY evil. All I really want to do is let the government know, "you're spoiling the gosh darn fun of it all!"

Bullet, The Linc, an MP and I do some journalism.

Click to go to the original article on the Linc website.

I'm not much into news journalism. I like tech blogging, I like features. Running after people with a dictaphone and a notepad is all too effortsome for me. But last night I was in a pub up the hill and guess who was sat on the table in front of me? That's right, MP of Lincoln, Karl McCartney. Only a hour or so before had I read this article on the Bullet website. I managed to grab Mr McCartney for an interview to find out what he thought of the Bullet article. You'd think I was a journalist, wouldn't you?

To be fair I actually sympathise with Karl McCartney (moi!? sympathising with a Tory... where have my liberal beliefs ran off to?!). He was told the interview he did wasn't to be online until next Wednesday but it was essentially "leaked" to Bullet.

Hmmmm.... I don't really like the rivalry between The Linc and Bullet (and the SU). It's petty. But hey, I can be an unbiased journalist... even when it comes to Tories!