Monday, 21 December 2009

"The foot is an anatomical structure found in many vertebrates. It is the terminal portion of a limb which bears weight and allows locomotion. In many animals with feet, the foot is a separate organ at the terminal part of the leg made up of one or more segments or bones, generally including claws or nails."

Don't we learn a lot from Wikipedia? (In fact, I learnt that I want claws... I would pick up small furry animals with them and fly away... I may also need wings.)

Most people have two feet, some people have three and some people have wheels (but we don't like to talk about them). However many you have, they're generally quite useful for walking, kicking people in the shins and putting them on coffee tables.

Time for a rundown of the good and bad things about feet (because this is necessary in life):

The Good
  • Converses... without feet they wouldn't exit and they are a truly beautiful creation. And anything that is important to the hearts and minds of emos, is important to my pants sole*.
  • Emotion. Yes, feet are emotive! Of course they are. 80% of communication is through body language feet. You jiggle or shake your foot consistantly? You are sexually frustrated (call me) You tap your foot rhytmically? You're musically minded. Tapping your foot slowly? You're bored. Kicking someone in the bollocks? You're a little miffed.
  • Amusing socks**.  I have socks with pictures of washing machines on them, also owls, polar bears, ladybugs and one pair with donkeys wearing glasses (captioned brilliantly with "smart ass"). I also have Santa pants but that's not entirely relevant. Clearly, if these socks didn't exist the social economic world wold collapse and we'd all be doomed.***

The Bad
  • Your feet smell worse than your dog's breath? I'm gonna Febreeze your life. Then shoot your dog.
  • Sports socks! Dear gods, why do they exist?! Horrible, ghastly looking things that just feel horrendous. A notice to men everywhere: don't wear them! They are incredibly sexually offputting. "No self-respecting woman will ever let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her."

The Ugly
  • Your Grandad's feet... just look them, then you'll understand my point.

*heehee... sole/soul... geddit? ...geddit!? ...hm...tough crowd.

**only amusing socks!

***not that we're not doomed anyway... ie. 2012, duh.


Post a Comment